FIRST GUEST: Aspen Matis, author of Girl in the Woods: A Memoir
It was only her second night as a college student. Excitement was still in the air of the dorm halls as this new chapter was just beginning. But in a matter of seconds, all that changed when another student raped Aspen Matis.
Sexual assualt is a huge problem in America, especially on college campuses. According to a recent Boston Globe report, about a quarter of undergraduate women have been victims of sexual assault since enrolling in college. What’s even scarier is that most of these incidents go unreported. In fact, less than a third of these cases are brought up to law enforcement.
Sometimes, years go by before a victim makes the assault public. Take the Bill Cosby cases, for example. Many of these incidents happened decades ago, but we’re just hearing about them now. It’s common to react with disbelief when someone known for his family-friendly humor and good nature is accused of rape. But disbelieving that a seemingly terrific comedian can commit a violent act inherently means that we doubt the accuser.
Similarly, when Patrick Kane of the reigning Stanley Cup champions the Chicago Blackhawks was slapped with rape allegations last this summer, it seemed to be hard to believe for his fans. Many Kane supporters were quick to assume his accuser was only out for money; that she must have been lying about the rape. But consider this: we, the public, don’t know Bill Cosby or Patrick Kane any more than we know their accusers. So why are we so quick to defend popular and talented celebrities and assume the worst about the women who say they violated them?
“People often don’t really want to know the truth,” Matis says of celebrities accused of sexual assualt. “We have our ‘dummy gods,’ we have our heroes… and it’s really startling and alarming and uncomfortable to revise those stories when you learn new information.”
It’s easy to see why women are hesitant to speak up about being violated. Not only are people quick to defend the party being accused, especially if he is famous, but sexual assault can be a difficult thing to prove. In Matis’s case, she did speak up, but didn’t receive the support or help she needed. Victims are often the ones who are questioned.
After telling her college officials about what happened to her, they conducted an investigation ruling in favor of her rapist.
“Colleges have brands,” Matis explains. “They want their school to seem safe… They absolutely do not want a rape conviction on their campus.”
A college’s effort to keep their reputation clean doesn’t always provide the safe environment they’re trying to give to their students. Matis says after investigating, “They found him to be innocent, which meant that I was guilty of lying.”
Matis found herself at a crossroads before her college education even started. What was supposed to be an enriched four years of learning quickly turned into a toxic and suffocating environment. She felt unsafe in her dorm, and moved into a different one, but she still saw her rapist on campus. This injustice wasn’t the college experience Matis anticipated.
She grew up in Massachusetts, and knew without a doubt that she wanted to go to a school far away from home. Colorado College was her first– and only– choice; she only sent out one application, and it was to this school. Her summers in Colorado Springs were spent hiking and backpacking with her family. “It was sort of the eden of my childhood,” she recalls, “such an oasis.”
With those perfect summers a distant memory, and her shocking rape stunting her college education before it even began, Matis decided to leave Colorado College, and hike the Pacific Crest Trail. The “PCT” is a 2,650 mile trail stretching from Mexico to Canada. Typically, it takes about 5 months to complete. Mostly, the hikers are male. Matis recalls feeling like “a girl among men.” For every one female hiker on the PCT, there are nine male hikers.
Hiking for five months alone among unfamiliar, mostly male hikers took some getting used to for Matis, but she knew in the end it would make her stronger, better.
“In my gut,” Matis reveals, “I knew that [hiking the PCT] would put me in the position in which I needed to prove to people and, really, to myself that I could take care of myself.”
And this hike really did force her to put her well-being at the top of her priority list. Over the course of those five months on the trail, Matis found herself in multiple life-threatening situations. She nearly died of thirst in the desert and hunger in the mountains. She was abducted by a man when she was hitching a ride back to the trail; instead of taking her back to the PCT, he took her to his home. A mysterious rash developed on her skin that ultimately grew so big and painful she had to seek medical attention back home before returning to the west coast to finish the hike. And then there was the mountain that almost swallowed her whole.
Most hikers bypass the 200 mile stretch of snow-buried mountains. But Matis hiked through those deadly miles. After taking one wrong step among what are called “suncups,” snowy dips that are icy and hard on the edge, but soft and snowy in the middle, she fell in, almost freezing to death.
“You’re not able to acknowledge in your body the stress that you’re in when you’re in it,” Matis says. “You have to not acknowledge it or else you’d be paralyzed by fear.”
Panicking about falling through the snow would have only hindered her ability to wiggle and pry her way out. Instead, adrenaline kicked in and she was able to focus on her escape. By using her body heat to melt the snow, making the hole bigger, she was able to climb back to the surface.
A young woman hiking among strange men far away from civilization, almost dying on a mountain with no one around to help, surviving and coping with having been raped: all these scenarios required Matis to take care of herself.
“When you have something really devastating that tries you,” Matis says, “you have two options: to curl up and stay there and be a victim and stay a victim, or to get up and make a decision to do what you need to do to make yourself happy.”
For Matis, nothing makes her happier than hiking. A five-month long 2,650-mile hike is an extreme solution to any problem, but that’s what worked for Matis, who’s enjoyed a lifelong passion for hiking. She reassures other women that there is a solution, no matter what’s testing you. “It is your responsibility to yourself after a trauma to do what you need to do for yourself to make yourself happy, because no one else can make you happy, no one else can save you, you have to save yourself.”
Hiking the PCT forced Matis to trust her fellow (mostly male) hikers. Obtaining what turned out to be a potentially life-threatening rash forced her to seek the care of a medical professional. Falling into an ice pit forced her to problem solve on-the-spot. Under all these circumstances, she saved herself.
But a few months earlier, after she was raped? “I was ashamed by my lack of ability to protect myself,” Matis admits. “I thought in the immediate aftermath that my life was over, that I was wrecked.” It was only after five months of hiking the distance of a marathon a day in extreme thirst-quenching heat and freezing mountain air that she was able to realize her own independence and strength.
“The rape was not the end of my life,” believes Matis. “That’s what I would want anyone to know who has been assaulted… It was the beginning of something bigger.”
Matis now has a newfound strength and respect for herself. She no longer feels unsafe in her body. The hike offered her an invaluable opportunity to “defend my boundaries and to say ‘no’ without apology when something [feels] wrong to me.”
Aspen Matis is currently completing another challenge: writing a novel. You can follow her on Twitter, or visit her website.
Girl in the Woods is now available at all major booksellers and on Amazon. A portion of the proceeds from the book will be donated to RAINN: the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.
SECOND GUEST: Mary Butler, Anti-Cruelty Society Special Events Manager
Founded in 1899, the Anti-Cruelty Society is Chicago’s oldest and largest private open-admission unlimited stay humane society. Their mission to build a community of caring by helping pets and educating people is one all animal lovers in the Windy City agree with.
Come on out on Thursday, February 25th for the Society’s 3rd annual Pour Your Heart Out wine and spirits tasting event! Dress your best and swing by the Union League Club from 6:00 – 8:30 pm featuring local and international vendors, hors d’oeuvres, and prizes.
Tickets are $55 in advance or $65 at the door, and proceeds benefit the animals at the Anti-Cruelty Society. Get details here.
Cheers!
THIRD GUEST: Paula Hutchinson, Founder and Pack Leader of High Hopes
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, love is in the air! And the bond between a human and his or her pet is a love like no other. What better time is there to give a homeless pet a forever home?
The High Hopes for Pets Foundation supports pet-saving organizations, and they’ve chosen the Anti-Cruelty Society of Chicago for a very special adoption event this Valentine’s Day!
From noon – 5:00 on Sunday, February 14th, High Hopes will cover all adoption fees at the Anti-Cruelty Society’s Adoption Center (510 N. LaSalle). So come on by and adopt a cat or dog– they make the perfect valentine.
Learn more at highhopesforpets.com and anticruelty.org.
Weekend Journal airs Sunday mornings at 6:30 on US99.5 and 6:00 on US99.5 HD2 The Wolf.
Listen to this week’s full episode below.
MORE ANTI-CRUELTY SOCIETY EVENTS